I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
