So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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