Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
