whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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