We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
