Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
