Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
