i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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