as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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