when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
