I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
