so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
