I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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