i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
