Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
