still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
Is it penis luge time yet?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
