OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
