Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
