I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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