Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
