I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
