Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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