So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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