Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
