so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
