I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
