you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Randomize
