she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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