Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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