its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
soo... how was my night?
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
