I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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