i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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