I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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