naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
