She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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