theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
