We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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