Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
