Porn is love you can see.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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