I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
