I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
