peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
