she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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