Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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