So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
