You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
In America we eat man semen.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
