Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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