; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
Randomize
