I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
