I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
