he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
i will never coherently bang her
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hippo gnu deer
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
