you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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