It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
